Massive Unexpected Complete Forgiveness

I had not been to church for many years, though I was a believer in Jesus, and I loved him.
Suddenly, I felt that he was calling me to know Him better. I started reading other people’s testimonies of him. I wanted to hear the near-death experiences of those who had actually gone to Heaven and met with him. The more I read, the closer I felt to him.

One day I met a new friend who invited me to church. I said, yes, anything that would draw me closer to him. As I sat in church, the Minister asked a question, “What is the mountain in your life?” He told us to take a few minutes and think about it. It was as if Jesus was helping me remember things I could not overcome in my life. My biggest mountain was definitely the lack of forgiveness I felt for people who I thought had wronged me or hurt me in some way. I could easily walk out of peoples lives and hold a grudge for twenty years, or the rest of my life for that matter.

As I thought about these things, I felt a deep wrenching physical pain in my heart, even physical pain, as though my heart was being squeezed tight in my chest. I bowed my head. I knew what the Bible says about forgiveness, and I thought, Jesus is probably mad at me. Still feeling the pain in my heart, I thought to look for the face of Jesus. I had read somewhere, but I didn’t think I would literally see him. If I did see him, I was sure He would be condemning me.

As I was thinking I should look for his face, I raised my eyes and couldn’t have been more surprised that he was actually there, in that room. He was wearing a crown of thorns and smiling at me with the most loving smile I had ever seen. I just gazed up at Him and the first thing I thought was, he looks a little different than in His pictures, but only slightly different.

I felt no condemnation from him at all. That surprised me. Next, I felt him sending me love that was full of compassion. It was an overwhelming kind of love that I was sure human beings aren’t capable of. I was in awe that he could love me that much. It was blissful. I was totally absorbed by that love to the point where I felt that my heart could burst. I have never felt anything like it, and I’m sure that I never will as long as I am on this earth. I just continued to gaze up at him and he continued to smile at me like I was so special to him.

Throughout the whole vision, he never once stopped smiling at me. Next, I saw him sending beams of transparent, white light towards my heart. I felt the light penetrating my being. The light was nothing but love and compassion. He was very kind and loving, not condemning at all. I only felt a strong outpouring of love from him. Next, he began to communicate with me, but no words were used. He communicated by sending me feelings, and there was knowledge in feelings that I understood clearly as it was transferred to my mind.

He had said that he already knew all about it, my lack of forgiveness towards others, how I had been hurt by other people, and what circumstances in my life had made me feel that way. He said, “I know everything about you.” That surprised me greatly, but I also felt comforted about it. It meant that he had never been far from me, like I had always thought, but I had always been constantly under his supervision. Again, I felt more compassion from him pouring out to me. He said: “I feel your pain. I grieve with you.” He was like a loving parent who will pick you up when you are hurting and hold you in his loving arms. He will comfort you and wipe away all of your tears. I actually felt like I had been comforted and held in the arms of Jesus.

Afterwards, he spoke again. He told me not to worry or concern myself with these things because he would take care of it. I felt like a burden had been lifted, and I felt like it was easy for him to take care of my burdens. I sensed that it was no problem at all for him. I was still looking at him, still surprised by some of the things that he said. He still wore that loving smile on his face that would melt the heart of the worst hardened sinner. He was still sending me love and it was to overflowing. There was so much love that I felt like my heart couldn’t hold it all, and it may burst. I felt like I couldn’t handle it anymore.

Seeing all the goodness and purity in him, I felt like I may break down into tears and sobs. I started to feel unworthy of his pure holiness. He was the highest level of pure perfection. Seeing this made me feel aware of my smallest sins. I felt unworthy of him and I looked away. When I looked back, he wasn’t there anymore, but I was left with a feeling of total awe. Jesus had been there, I had seen him, I had felt him, he had communicated with me. And the I left knowing was that he loved me more than anyone had ever loved me in my life.

A few days later, I thought about how I had sat in church that day knowing I had sinned, and yet, Jesus blessed me with a vision. I knew he still loved me unconditionally, in spite of my flaws. I thought to myself, how can this be? Later that night I started to read the Bible, The Book of John. Jesus answered my question clearly: John 3:16 For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son, that who so ever believes in him should not perish but have everlasting life. For God sent not his son into the world, but that the world through him might be saved. He that believes on him is not condemned, but he that believes not is already condemned because he has not believed. I had sought to know him with my whole heart and soul.

I remembered that he had worn the crown of thorns in my vision. I now realize that they were meant to be symbolic, a reminder to me of how he loved us all enough to be lifted up and crucified on the cross for the forgiveness of our sins. The crown of thorns is a symbol of his love that he feels for each one of us. He had truly shown me how to forgive.

Karen Templin